Lloyd & Diane

Kayleigh ran her first RPG tonight with a school friend and her older brother. It was heartwarming that she chose the Red Dwarf roleplaying game that Sam & I authored (with massive help, of course). The game that put our company on the map, and paid our full time salaries for a year and a half. Tyler will join next time, but tonight he was at Gavin's place, participating in a Star Wars RPG campaign.

Gotta start growing geeks from the beginning, man.

After K's guests left, she asked if we could watch a DVD together. I opened the cabinet and let her scan the shelves - and the one she chose was Say Anything. I said, "Oh, this is written and directed by Cameron Crowe." And my nine-year-old daughter replied, "he's the guy who made Singles, right?"

Stunned silence.

"Yes, honey. That's right."

Of course, as anyone who was a teenager in the 1980s knows, Say Anything was one of the greatest love stories/date movies John Cusack ever starred in. It depicts two Seattle high school graduates (class of '86 no less - HELLO!), Lloyd Dobbler (Cusack) and Diane Court (Ione Skye), a totally mismatched pair who fall in love under some interesting and often stressful circumstances. The late-teen angst, the dialogue, all the performances are right on. And then there's the soundtrack, which is led fearlessly by Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes. The scene where Lloyd tries to win Diane back by holding his boombox aloft and "serenading" her has become iconic.

"That's Peter Gabriel," Kayleigh remarked from the love seat.

"Yes, yes it is," I answered, eyes welling up, recalling the wedding video footage of Sam & me dancing to it. Stupid Peter Gabriel and your songwriting brilliance.

Sam & I loved that movie. Hell, Sam & I lived that movie. Switch Seattle with Palo Alto, give Lloyd a white Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, and change some of the immediate family dynamics around (as far as I know, Sam's parents didn't steal from the elderly residents in their nursing home), and that could have been us. The grad party. The dates lasting until dawn. The awkward first kiss. And then there's the scene in the back seat of Lloyd's car by the ocean... I was immediately transported back to the Baylands in Palo Alto, back seat of my Cutlass at age 18.

And I had to leave the room. I was flooded with this sudden wave of grief and - more surprising - anger. WTF was that about?? I stood in the kitchen with clenched fists and cursed the fates and remembered that delicious innocent time and savored it and I let it go.

It passed in moments, but jeez, what a surprise. I think it must be somewhat like a victim of PTSD having a flashback. Kinda bizarre and awful how it sneaks up on you out of nowhere. Of course it probably didn't hurt that Sam bore more than a passing resemblance to Ione Sky when she was that age. Here I am, talking about how great I'm doing not two days ago, and then - BAM.

This meeting of the Emotional Self-Torturers of America is now adjourned.