Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Be Kind to Self Day

Well, two days maybe. After the overnight debacle yesterday, the kids were pretty sedate (and careful not to earn any more of my wrath). I mean, let's face it - I'm really a pussycat, but at 6'4" and a deuce and a half, I can get pretty intimidating when I'm pissed off. So they were on best behavior all day, even cleaning their rooms!

Later in the afternoon, I realized I was about due for the Scottish Depilatory, ran down to a local spa that Sam frequented (so they all know my situation and take good care of me), and had a complete stranger rip all the hair off my back. I am, after all, of the Highland Scots persuasion. Our ancestors were Vikings who swept in, impregnated the local Picts, started weaving plaid and playing inflated sheep's bladders that the Irish brought us (and we still haven't got the joke). The males of the species are ginger-colored, and tend to be covered in a soft coat of fur - and while I'm sure that evolutionary adaptation was priceless when we were running around in nothing but a wool skirt in the frozen tundra of the North Atlantic, nothing pisses me off more in the summer than an itchy back. So there - the secret is out. I wax the big real estate. Sam used to shave me back there (which was much less painful), but now I must pay strangers. How very pathetic.

So today I booked a massage with an awesome LMP up at Maya Studio in Fremont. She's amazing - deep tissue work that doesn't leave you feeling like you've been worked over by a mob enforcer. Next week I'm back at Maya for acupuncture with Johanna, who used to be in my last Gilda's group (supporting her mother's cancer fight). Tonight the kids will come to Gilda's Club with me. Their revamped kids' area is impressive. Tyler especially likes the widescreen TV and Gamecube. I'm transitioning into the bereavement group in a couple weeks, so I want to have some farewell time with my current group. It's been quite a rollercoaster. Sam and I used to go to group together; the wellness (patients) group in one room, their spouses/family members in another. Sam's group closed shortly after she died.

Had a wild dream about Sam last night. She was alive, and we were going through old stage costumes, sorting out the stuff she wanted to keep, or give to the theater. I think that will be an upcoming project for me in the real world. I'll go through her clothes, save the stuff Kayleigh will want when she's older, and give a bunch to the Pandemonium Players. The cool thing about the dream is that the tone was happy, and that hasn't been the case in these last months.

Looking forward to our friend Andrew's visit from England. He's one of the talented writers behind our Red Dwarf RPG.

3 comments:

judyanne said...

Nice blog, Todd. Blogging has helped me get through some awful crazy widow times in the past couple of years. I will drop in from time to time and see what you're up to.

-judyanne from WN

Rod said...

Hi Todd,

When the time came I gave away most of Cindy's clothes to friends and neighbors. We did save some clothes though. I had one of Cindy's craft friends save out some items that can be used to make a memory quilt. I've got to go through some of the girls old things and together with Cindy's old clothes put together a couple of quilts that they can take with them when they go off to college (which will be here in a couple years, yikes!).

Rod from WN

Neko Wafer said...

Ooh, yes, Rod has the right idea. You can make (or have someone make for you) memory quilts from some of Sam's favorite clothes. Use pieces with pockets, closures, imprints, hems...anything goes. It'll make it that much more wonderful, and you and the kids will have something very special to treasure.