Monday, June 18, 2007

Happy Father's Day

Sorry for the sporadic posting. The past week has been full of Randy's visit, loads of driving around, movies, dining out, yard work and getting my studio/office squared away a little better.

It was great having Randy here for a whole week. We agreed he could have stayed another week without getting to the point where we wanted to throttle one another. What good bros we are! :) He cleaned up my front yard big time, propped up the rhodie, put in a rock border between the front lawn and the planting area in front of Kayleigh's window, and pruned the lower branches on the front trees. It will be much easier to keep up now.

My new relationship has gone through the initial "mach-5 with your hair on fire" phase and has downshifted into a really nice cruising speed. It seems as if we got all the awkward "firsts" out of the way really quickly, and now we can relax and just enjoy the ride. The drama of a week or so ago was the product of sharing such an intense connection from the first moment that we were both pretty scared. The difference for me was that I'd had the loss of Sam to make me realize how rare and wonderful such a connection can be. In any case, it's all part of the learning curve. So far, J has met the best friend/big bro and Sam's brother, both of whom give a solid thumbs up (and I've met her best friend, little sister and twin brother, all of whom are pretty darn cool). She's also met the kids - and so much for my initial worry there. They have really glommed onto her. We're trying to kind of ration out her visits to the house for awhile, until they get used to a woman around. It's got to be surreal for them. It's surreal for me. And I have to be very careful and protective with their little hearts. I was not surprised to see how well Kayleigh related to J, but what was shocking was how readily Tyler reached out!

After Friday night's movie (with Randy and Doug), we took the conversation into the living room, and this would ordinarily be when Tyler would retreat to his room to play videogames or work on the computer. But he remained engaged in the activities, and kept vying for J's attention. It was really miraculous - I don't know how else to say it. As an aside, he's now been off his meds for more than 2 weeks. He's gaining weight and height, sleeping more, and generally seeming pretty balanced. We'll see how the rest of the summer goes, but my hope is that his brain chemistry is equalizing on its own with the onset of puberty and he won't need to go back on the stuff.

Father's Day was actually pretty crappy for the most part. I had a nice coffee chat with Ron in the morning, then decided I would get on City of Heroes for a little while to take advantage of double-XP weekend. The kids started throwing around their crazy energy from the moment they got up, and by the late afternoon they'd devolved into complete cretins. I made dinner without help (or thanks or so much as a "Happy Father's Day"), and I cleaned up alone. I went to sulk on the sofa while they went off to Westwood to spend their allowances. Then I got a text from J: "Happy Father's Day!" I grumbled a response, and before I knew it, J was here, sitting with me watching TV, making my day a whole lot better. Then the kids returned, having spent their allowances... on Father's Day gifts for me. A card, a camo baseball cap with a pirate skull on it, and a potted daisy plant for the front yard.

Happy Fathers Day. Yes. Yes, it was. :)

And Tyler plucked a bloom from the plant and handed it to J. "And this is for you!" She absolutely melted, and gave him a big hug. I felt like the Grinch, with his heart growing three sizes. Very very nice!

More to come, I'm sure. Now I need to get caught up with the work I've been neglecting due to Randy's visit and a really wonderful new thing going on. Thanks for bearing with me.


LL Cool P said...

Happy Dads Day to ya indeed! I've been off the blogging radar -- for writing (mine) and reading (others) -- so let me also just say:

1) Congrats on the new romance! You deserve some real happiness more than pretty much anyone I know.

2) I'm seeing The Police in L.A. this Saturday, and I cannot frickin' wait! They better play "Next To You" at our show, too, 'cause that song kicks my ass. Memories of my Outlandos d'Amour album back in the day...

Cheers! (And I will really try to post soon.)

Ali said...

Love the happy post, especially that things are going so well with not only you and J, but the kids and J.

Glad Father's Day turned out to be a good one.


go_go yubari said...

Happy belated Father's Day :-)

Man - you and Kayleigh look soooo much alike...very cool!

Glad to hear things are looking up