Why Must You Be So Meme?

Beth tagged me with a meme, which I would not ordinarily do so soon after just completing another, but it's wholly different from the last, and contains some interesting questions dealing with a matter in which I'm severely out of practice. Please keep in mind that the majority of the following answers apply to my 20+ year relationship with Samantha.

1. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night? D. All of the above.
2. On which side of the bed do you sleep? The topmost lateral surface. After Sam died, I slowly edged from my customary left side of the bed (as you face the headboard), and took the middle. Now I find I've returned to the left.
3. Pork, beef, or chicken? Depends on what you're cooking. Generally choose chicken over the others.
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke? Only as a passenger, only as a child.
5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on? I alternate. Gotta keep those crafty pants guessing!
6. Candles or incense? Both. Sometimes simultaneously.
7. Do you dance when no one is watching? No, but I do the pommel horse for small groups of German tourists.
8. Did you play doctor when you were little? Pretty consistently, and it was usually the girl who instigated it. There was this one girl... the things she did to my G.I. Joe! No, my actual G.I. Joe action figure. And that was just the action figure. Ah, the suburban '70s.
9. Stove top cooking or microwave? They each have their uses. Try cooking microwave popcorn on the stovetop (or vice versa).
10. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty? Car, although I usually give both of them a weekly shoveling.
11. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? At least to the nearest cart corral.
12. Shower or bath? Daily shower, hot whirlpool bath when needed for stress relief.
13. Do you pee in the shower? Why get the bathroom floor all wet to step out and use the toilet?
14. Mexican or Chinese food? I love both equally when prepared well, but am more likely to eat crappy Mexican food than crappy Chinese as a matter of course.
15. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? Depends on what's on the agenda. I'm natually more of an alpha male, but it gets old calling the shots all the time.
16. Do you own sex toys? No.
17. Corn dogs or hot dogs? Ideally a bagel dog from the deli, but it's hard to find them anymore. Short of that, corn dogs I guess.
18. Your favorite restaurant? Locally, Vatsana's (Thai), Pegasus (Greek/Italian), Maharaja (Indian), Celtic Swell (Irish), Puerto Vallarta (Mexican), Elliott Bay Brewery (beer & burgers), Charlestown Cafe (home cookin'), Spiro's (Greek/Italian), Tellarico's (Gourmet pizza by the huge slice, and a full bar), Husky Deli (sandwiches and homemade ice cream).
19. What did you have for lunch today? About to heat up some leftovers.
20. When did you last fall down? Indianapolis, 2003. Hit the curb and did some kind of funky aikido spin, skinned up the knuckles on my left hand and tweaked my back. When you are a giant, falling is never preferable.
21. Have you ever wished someone were dead? Hell no. Happens too often on its own, when we least expect it, and to those we would rather keep around.
22. Love or money? Do what you love. The money will come.
23. Credit cards or cash? Debit cards. Easier to track and more convenient than cash, but not expensive like credit.
24. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn’t? I more often wish people who aren't in my family WERE.
25. Oreos or vanilla wafers? With a glass of milk or a bowl of ice cream? The answer might be completely different depending on context. In general, Mother's Circus Animals, thank you.
26. How do you like your steak cooked? Don't eat steak all that much, but when I do, I like it nice and dead. Little to no pink at all.
27. How do you like your eggs cooked? Scrambled dry (not runny), fried (hard over), omelette (with ham, cheese & mushrooms), hard boiled, deviled.
28. Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in a fight? I succumbed to peer pressure and in 6th grade pounded the shit out of another kid in "the gully", which was kind of like the preteen Santa Cruz version of Thunderdome. The sad parts were: 1) we were friends and the fight had been manufactured by a third party; 2) the kid I beat up was the one who did the calling out. We became friends again after the incident.
29. Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel? Got camping out of my system during my years with the SCA. I'd much rather disappear in a quaint B&B in Wales.
30. Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery? Never had a root canal, but I have had minor surgeries. So I can't really judge which is worse. Ideally neither.
31. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money? Absolutely. I already do some extensive manscaping and have been considering when to buzz down to a pinfeather cut on the noggin.
32. Would you rather have lice or an STD? The closest I've come to the latter was a UTI in high school, but I have dealt with an outbreak of lice from the kids, and while it's a hassle, I think the discomfort of the UTI was worse.
33. What’s your favorite hard candy? Toss up between Werther's Originals and Butter Rum Lifesavers.
34. Ever been to a strip club? Couple times. Once in Hollywood, once in Seattle. Both times with and for friends. Never saw the attraction of it, personally.
35. Ever been to a bar? Have you MET me?? Of course I prefer the Old World ambience of a public house. I don't go into dive bars, and I generally don't go into pubs to drink alone.
36. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? Only at closing time.
37. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere? Dragged back to the tent, or led to bed, but just try carrying me anywhere, especially passed out dead-weight.
38. Kissed someone of the same sex? In a family or acting context, yes. In a romantic context, no.
39. Had sex in the car? Oh heck yeah. God bless the big back seat of the Olds Cutlass Supreme and the bed of the Isuzu pickup and, and, and...
40. Had sex at the beach? Not ON the beach, but in a car AT the beach or IN the beach house at Pajaro Dunes.
41. Had sex in a movie theater? Are you kidding me? Like, while there's a MOVIE playing?? Heck no! It would distract from the movie.
42. Had sex in a bathroom? Quite often. It's a great party game.
43. Have you ever been in an “adult” store? Not recently, but yup.
44. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with? Which "friends list"? Is this the universe where I'm "friends" with Jennifer Connelly, Catherine Zeta Jones or Jordan Ladd?
45. Have you been caught having sex? :) A lady cop at the Baylands in Palo Alto tapped the steamy car window with a flashlight and after making sure Sam & I were a) both willing participants and b) not junkies or dealers, smiled and told us to go home. I think I was 17 or 18. There were many times when being caught was a distinct possibility, but other than the above, no.
46. Have you ever kissed a stranger? Sort of. We'd never met face to face, but had traded many emails and phone calls. Not a real great time in the being-smart-while-dating department. Fortunately everyone got out alive.
47. Does anyone have naughty pictures of you? Randy has a picture of me at age 14 dancing with a paper grocery bag over my head at a high school cast party. Other than that, hopefully not. That porn shoot was so long ago... ;)

Oh, and I tag Lotti, Andrew, Stacy and Lisa. Not that anyone ever listens to me.