Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Gypsies Maybe?

So if I wanted to sell my children to Gypsies, would I look under G in the Yellow Pages? Do Gypsies even buy children anymore? Did they ever, or was that just a cheap parental threat, like the boogeyman or communists?

Just kidding of course. I would never sell my children to Gypsies. Now if there were still Visigoths, I might entertain an offer. But they go as a pair - no breaking up the set.

It's been one of those mornings. You parents know the mornings I'm talking about. "Get up, it's time to get up. Come on, let's go. Get to the table. I said get to the table. I said get to the table. Get. To. The. Table. Clear your place and get your shoes and socks on. Tyler, get your socks on. Socks, Tyler. Right in front of you. [five minutes later] Tyler, quit goofing off and get your socks on." Ugh. Okay, I know from having been a kid that there is an inherent amount of convenient deafness and ignorance when it comes to interaction with parents. As Bill Cosby would say, "children, y'see, they got the brain damage." But honest to God, ask my mother - I was NEVER that bad. I mean, there's really no excuse to have to be told ten freakin' times to put on your socks when you're eleven years old. Mom, did you ever have to tell me TEN times to do anything reasonable?

So I will have my tea, grab a shower, and repeat the mantra: "I love my children." And all will be well. Because this too shall pass.

Children. Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em to Gypsies.

Or Visigoths.

Anyhoo, the tear-out on the basement is done. No more stinky, no more fixtures, doors, furniture, or anything else. Ironically, the flooding never touched our raised closet in the master bedroom, so all Sam's clothes I was planning on bagging up were the only things left untouched by the whole flood/demolition process. Guess I should bag them up now before the contractor gets started with the rennovation.

The cat is now getting braver and will actually come up on the couch for purring, snuggling and head scritches - but only when she's sure Wiley is crated.

We have Gilda's tonight. Looking forward to venting a bit. Been fending off a migraine for 2 days now - I should get a nap at some point... that may help. Sleeping on the couch is hell on my spine, and having the kids on air mattresses on the floor with no privacy and a whole house worth of clothing and rescued linens, boxes and furniture in HALF the space is getting really old really fast.

The West Seattle Herald ran a story on the flood damage: Online version here. Aside from the reporter getting the month of Sam's death wrong (April, not July), he also mangled a pretty straightforward and articulate quote. "I always try to find some light in the darkness - these things can often be gifts in disguise" became, "It's all about looking for the hundreds of gifts that come from things like this". What does that even mean?? It sounds like I'm some greedy bastard trying to find Christmas prezzies or charity.

Stupid freedom of the press.


Anonymous said...

Oh-my-goodness...I would SO ask for a printed retraction of that horrible misprint!! That doesn't even make sense and it does give a weird impression - why would he just print that without confirming it?? I don't think it has so much to do with freedom of the press as it does with the laziness of the writer! And that whole date thing...what happened to checking your facts? I took journalism in junior high and they were pretty strict about that ;)

Also, gypsies (and visigoths) are few and far between these days...on our bad days I personally tell my children I'm glad I lost their receipt 'cause I'd have returned them LONG ago :) Then I hug them! Love you guys! Smack

Mom said...

You asked if you were ever that bad...I might have told you nine times twice, perhaps, but never ten :-)

(On the other hand, I had chewed my fingers down so badly by then that I'm not sure of the count!)

Seriously though, you were a lovely child and I wouldn't have sold you to Gypsies.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how time glosses the memories, isn't it? :-)
I have 4 kids, and they're all like that- total selective hearing - tuning in and tuning out (which they're so used to doing with all the mod. technology)