Wednesday, July 06, 2005

This Woman's Work

My brother Gavin actually posted this song to his blog shortly after Sam died. I thought I'd repost it here as well. It's a powerful ballad that I mostly associate with the final sequence in John Hughes' She's Having a Baby, and also with Tyler's difficult birth (which was eerily similar to the scene in the film). Samantha tore and hemorrhaged. Blood was all over the floor and she passed out. Tyler had too much fluid in his lungs and had to be siphoned and stomach-pumped. They bundled him up and handed him to me, and I held him while I watched our doctor, Mark Beard, go to work on her. I remember sitting there feeling totally helpless, that I could lose one or both of the two dearest people to me. Mark saved her life, and she returned to have another child - I am in awe of the female (and of Mark's skill as a physician). My highest honors in life have been being present at the births of my children, and holding Samantha as she passed away.

Needless to say, the song has a totally new meaning for me now.

Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.
(I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.)

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things we should've said,
That were never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given,
But I didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.

- Kate Bush

2 comments:

Neko Wafer said...

Kate Bush is up there as one of my favorite-ist writer/singers.

Powerful stuff.

And thanks for staying. :)

You have a lot of work yet to do.

tbone said...

I know that, and always have known that. But in those moments when she's just gone and nothing else exists but your grief, you think if you're quick, you could just catch her hand and go with her on the journey.

I know now it wasn't my journey to take.