Friday, July 29, 2005

Oxygen's Gone

I was hunting up an old videotape of our high school production of The Dining Room to show Caleb, and I ran across another tape... a two-hour document of June Crown 1990, a Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) event. Sam & I ran a pirate household in the Kingdom of the West for a few years (from about 1988-1991). This event happened to have rather large attendance for our crowd, as it included two birthdays and two crew initiations. We would set up our encampment in the rough outline of a ship, and by the time the sun set we would have doubled our normal crew compliment of 20+ and not one of them sober. It was shocking to see all our old friends from the college years, just a few months before Sam & I were married. Even more shocking to see Sam, looking gorgeous, playing guitar and singing. Wish I'd found this before I mastered her DVD. Maybe I need to just do a Best of Sam's Videos DVD.

Damn I miss her.

So that conjures up the following lyric from the appropriately named band Die Trying. Posted it on WidowNet awhile back, but it really belongs here too.

OXYGEN'S GONE
Closer to closure
So take this out on me
Take anything you want
'Cause I still bleed, I still breathe

It’s fading, thinner
But still it's haunting me
I can't find the words to say to the angels
That took you from me
But three words, three words:

My oxygen's gone

I can't sleep, I can't eat
I cry out to God just to hear me
It's another day I’m still the same,
With all my pain
Not yet, not yet,
Break me from these visions
Not yet, not yet,
It's too soon for you

I’m choking from knowing
The love you've given me
It's hard to believe what I see is no dream,
Is no dream

I'm drinking and sinking,
Still it's haunting me
I medicate my fears with more beers
And more tears

My oxygen's gone

I can't sleep, I can't eat
I cry out to God just to hear me
It's another day I’m still the same,
With all my pain
Not yet, not yet,
Break me from these visions
Not yet, not yet,
It's too soon for you

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